I was just watching this and I realized that it is absolutely indicative of most nights where I party as hard as possible. That part where the apple pie trees come to life--I HAD THAT HAPPEN ONCE AFTER DOWNING A KLONOPIN COCKTAIL AND THEN DRINKING HALF A BOTTLE OF VODKA. Granted, the happy/scary apple pie tree people are probably some Heroin Chic rockstars I know that are like, "Whoa, you are out of your fucking mind! What you need is some blow!" Yes, things can get better. Anyways, This entire McDonalds commercial reminds me of mescaline and that feeling you get after you're about to puke all over everyone and then suddenly their faces melt off and they are all wearing animal masks and you accept the fact that your best friend just turned into Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Let's face it, how could that be so wrong? That cartoon theme song was pretty much the best thing I have ever heard and I still listen to it on my ipod while driving in LA traffic, peeping into surrounding cars and looking for a swank piece of ass to flirt with.

When the evil Shredder attacks,
these turtle boys don't cut him no slack.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (x2)

Splinter taught them to be Ninja teens.
He's a radical rat
Leonard leads, Donatello does machines,
That's a fact Jack
Raphael is cool but rude,
Gimme a break!
Michaelangelo is a party dude!
Uh, yea. I dare you to defy me by explaining how that is not the best theme song of all time. I also dare you to justify how this entire post sounds like I spent the last two days chomping down on pain killers when I am out and have been entirely too lazy to visit a real doctor.