Holy shit, I just had a drunk flashback, and I better hurry up and write it before I forget or fall asleep. Last week, when I went wild at Erika's birthday, there were these douchebags that had a band. I would say their terrible band name here, but then one day they would search it and be like WE ARE NOT A TERRIBLE BAND! And maybe they are not totally terrible, but I just listened to 30 seconds of their most downloaded song on iTunes and I think it is pretty bad and people have hired me to review music so I guess that makes me a fucking expert on the matter. Your 33 Black Angeles sucks dick. I guess the part where I do not say their name is over and I can move on with the story.


I guess I got stuck talking to one of the band members. I probably talked to each and everyone of them by the end of the night including their super creepy manager. At some point, I was sick of hearing they played SXSW and was like MAN, I JUST WANT TO CLOSE MY FUCKING TAB. Then one of them sort of poked at me like I was a caged animal in the petting zoo and I turned around and was like, "You guys should play at the Mutiny." For everyone other than Mandy and Erin this will not be hilarious. The Mutiny is this shitty bar down the street from Erin that is owned by this guy named Ed that is like everyone's dad that happens to be a serial rapist who looks like Herman Munster. I wish I was making this up. Anyways, Ed will let any band play. I mean, I have heard some of the worst music on earth there and no one will be like GOD, THIS SHIT IS TERRIBLE because bad music is just something you sign up for. I could send my little sister in there to ask to perform and by the end of the night she'd have a drink in her hand while she spoke-sang some lyrics she made up along the way and she is 8-years-old.


So when I first tell this guy he should play The Mutiny he is like YEA, DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE THERE I CAN GET IN TOUCH WITH? And I have to be an asshole and I say, YEA, ASK FOR ED. IT'S IN CHICAGO AND I AM PRETTY SURE HE LETS ANY IDIOT WITH A VOICE AND SOME INSTRUMENTS PLAY ON HIS CREEPY MAKESHIFT STAGE. Sad face ensues and I go home. I guess this is an entire waste of time for most of you morons that will never visit The Mutiny.


I on the other hand will be there in a weeks time pimping free drinks and trying to have sex in their phone booth because I am trashy like that. Your consolation prize can be the lame pictures of my sister and friend Katie making faces while I photograph myself without a bra on in the mirror to see if I am fat or FAT. P.S. I love the way my tattoos creep out of my pants. That's class ladies and gents.