I haven't blogged in a week.  I am pretty sure my feet stink in an unnatural way right now.  Additionally, I have been drinking more than usual all week.  Seriously, how dare the people I know ask me to leave my layer and enter into public.  Anyways, before I start updating like I am Robert Stack I guess I should make mention that today is Leap Day, which is basically a man made day cause you cannot divide ACTUAL HUMAN TIME by 365 days exactly and then every 4 years you get an extra day.  Seriously, only human beings could be dumb enough to come up with a concept like Leap Year.  Fucking retards.  Anyways, if you are into Leap Year and are the cheapest bastard in town you can get $0.29 coffee at Einstein Bros. Bagels & Noah's Bagels.  I was thinking about going there and ordering a hundred cups of coffee at $0.29 demanding the hundred cups and leaving, but they probably have a one-per-customer limit and also I am too lazy to even leave my house.  Also, if you're born on Leap Year they apparently give you a free meal.  A lot of places do this apparently, including but not limited to stupid Morton's Steakhouse.  I guess I just want to say, HEY ASSHOLE, IF YOU'RE A LEAP YEAR BABY I FUCKING HATE YOU.  There it's off my chest.

Oh, and the total lack of photos on this blog, that's due to the fact that my camera mysteriously disappeared.  Someone recently asked me if I lost it while drinking, but there is no way that happened because the last time I saw it, it was in my purse, in my bedroom and I was fucking sober.  I am sure I deserve to lose it since I have been reviewing all the shit I have stolen from people while super obliterated and when you can add PURSE, CAR, and VESPA--you know you're an asshole.  Due to this major oversight and probable karmic force at work, I am just going to post old photos and maybe even some of me being super fat where I point out any and all double chins, which everyone I know refers to as Fred.  Thanks for being there for me Fred.

If I can come up with anything remotely awesome I guess I will post again later today.  Probably, I won't since I am going back to my chiropractor to have my knee worked on some more so I can resume physical activities that I cannot be paid for with twenties.  In the case that you're a moron, I am referring to prostitution even though I have entirely too much dignity to accept funds for fucking.