Oh god, I just remembered what I was going to write about, it only took me like 2 hours. Jesus Fucking Christ. Anyways, this chick I grew up with--she moved to Tennessee, got knocked up and had that baby. ALL IN THAT ORDER. Then she went and named that kid BLAZE. Just in case you all forget, BLAZE IS THE NAME OF A FUCKING AMERICAN GLADIATOR. I clearly wish I had more to say about it than that, but BLAZE is a name you give your gay lover or your kitten--YOU DO NOT NAME YOUR CHILD BLAZE YOU FUCKING RETARD. In other news, I think she's coming to LA and bringing BLAZE with her--it will take everything out of me not to call that kid a retard--especially since she has been known to bring that tard to fucking bars with her and hope he passes out before 11pm. THAT MY FRIENDS IS GREAT PARENTING.
Turns out I started this post at 1am and now it is 5:42am--this is what happens when you become extremely manic after writing like a machine for a few hours. When I am writing like this I can give up sleeping entirely. God, at this time of the day whenever I am still awake--most of the time lately--I sit around like a psycho and wait for anyone I know on the East Coast to get online so I can fucking pester the shit out of them. Pester the shit. Until someone unboring gets out of fucking bed I will enjoy my break by watching LAW & ORDER: CRIMINAL INTENT. Holy shit, I love Law & Fucking Order. I usually figure out what is up in the first 10 minutes, but then I watch the rest of the show to see who's going to be badass and what sort of creepy characters they are going to introduce to justify their weird plot twists that are not even that fucking weird. LOOK AT ME I AM RAMBLING.
Right now I am finishing up my movie list for Critics Rant the website I write movie & television reviews for. Today the list I am working on is entitled Critical Mass: Six Movies You’re Too Embarrassed To Tell Your Friends You Love. These are some of my favorite fucking movies. Still they are movies you do not throw around when you are around your posh film buff friends for fear of them shunning you for your terrible taste. These people are usually boring and worthless friends anyways. Here is the list I started with. I had to cut it down to six, but let's check out how fucking awesome these sorts of films are:
1. Cocktail
2. Cobra
3. Roadhouse
4. Bloodsport
5. Clueless
6. Problem Child
7. Point Break
8. Street Fighter
9. Showgirls
10. Sidekicks
11. Three Ninjas
12. Over The Top
13. Bio-Dome
14. Drop Dead Fred
15. The Ringer
16. Necessary Roughness
17. Under Siege
18. Tremors
19. Better off Dead
20. License to Drive
21. Adventures in Babysitting
22. Weekend at Bernies
23. Jason X
Uh, someday I am going to meet a man that will know the utter importance of these films and I will fall madly in love with him and the two of us will hang out in bed all day long and try to perform some of Van Damme's fucking slick ass kicks on one another as though we are superior Muy Thai masters. Then we'll have spectacular sex and while screaming amazing one liners from ROADHOUSE like "I USED TO FUCK GUYS LIKE YOU IN PRISON!" And then I can die happy.
9 comments:
Hihi
Who doesn't love Road House and the hilarious throat grab??
Blaze is a name for a HORSE. Seriously. Or maybe it's someone who lights up a lotta smokes... But I can't say much cuz I named my kids Stone and Tully. BUT they have totally normal boring middle names, so if they get pissed at me they can just go by those.
Good movie list... and your hair looks darling. Up and down.
Look, I went to film school (aka bullshit school), and anyone who's "too serious" to like Bloodsport or Weekend at Bernie's is a fucking asshole.
What, roadhouse is not on there?
Oh, it is.
What, dirty dancing is not on there? Nobody puts baby in a corner!
Actually I guess I could say the same of any patrick swayze movie.
Most of those I would not even really be ashamed of, though.
I think my mind unhinged from reality when I heard about "Blaze". Blaze is the name I gave to my pet rat when I was like 6. Until it bit my brother and he smashed him against the wall.
Have you lost some weight or something? Maybe you just got a haircut. Either way your new look is good.
Love Roadhouse!
The overbreeders next door named their 5th (a girl) Kendall, which is also a brand of motor oil. Good luck with that tag later in life, kid.
I like the list; Jason X was great only because it had that Camp Crystal Lake scene... funniest scene in a horror movie ever.
Blaze is a bad name. Agreed.
Law and order CI is the best of the law and orders.
I like about 60 percent of those movies. Tremors should have won an oscar. Or even 3.
I find you, Sabrina, after all this lonely time, and what do I get but a week without posts. I'm sad.
check it
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