Let me explain my past 24 hours or so--I went out with this dude that does not understand that I am the devil and I am sure he is already in love with me because I got bored and was like I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I ACT COY, LIKE I COULD NEVER EVEN KISS SOMEONE LET ALONE FUCK THEM ON THE FIRST DATE. Turns out they decide you are even better than ever. Turns out I don't even care. And I left without even kissing this dude but somehow he was like I AM GOING TO GRAB YOUR ASS and I was like UH, WHATEVER. I like how I was like I GUESS I WON'T ACT LIKE A SLUT, but then I was like I GUESS I CANNOT HELP BEING A FUCKING SKANK EVEN WHEN I AM PRETENDING NOT TO BE A FUCKING SKANK. Oh man, I just took a sleeping pill, but I will get to that later.

Anyways, sometime before 2am I was like, I GUESS I SHOULD GET GOING BECAUSE I HAVE TO BAKE BREAD FOR THE ORPHANS or whatever I felt like saying and then I called up my sister and she was like WHOA, WE ARE HAVING AN AFTER-PARTY OVER AT THIS HOTEL--COME OVER NOW. So over course I head over there and we party till like 5am when I am like UH, I GUESS I WILL HEAD HOME BECAUSE I NEED TO DO SOME WRITING, PEACE OUT FOOLS. And then I go home and write (HERE'S AN ASIDE, I BET ALL OF THIS IS FUCKING BORING BECAUSE I AM BASICALLY FUCKING SPITTING BACK EVERYTHING TO YOU--OH GOD, I HAVE REACHED THE PINNACLE OF BORING I GUESS THIS IS WHERE I GIVE UP AND PRAY FOR DEATH).

Regardless, I get home and I am like OH, THIS IS MY SECOND WIND and I am wide fucking awake at like 7:45 am, but I am too lethargic/tired/hungover to leave the couch. By noon I was like SOMEONE STAB ME IN THE FUCKING FACE. And when I blacked out around 6pm I hoped to sleep until sun-fucking-rise. Too bad for me sunrise starts at 11:45 pm. So now it's 2am and I am building you the stupidest time line in the fucking world because I just woke up and I am taking a pill to go back to sleep because my life is a series of events incorporated with the use of pills for every fucking occasion. TASTE THE RAINBOW.

Oh, I just remembered why I wrote this post, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK UP YOUR SLEEP SCHEDULE SO BADLY THAT YOU HAVE TO TAKE A PILL TO GO TO SLEEP AND ANOTHER TO WAKEUP & YOU END UP WITH SCRAMBLED EGGS FOR BRAINS. Ugh, so last night my sister got really wasted and she was like ARN'T YOU HAVING YOUR PERIOD. ARN'T YOU BLEEDING LIKE THE REST OF US. Turns out I am not currently suffering from bleedings disease. I am sure all seven of you that read this are super happy to know this shit. And I am sitting in a chair and she is like OH YOU ARE GOING TO GET YOUR PERIOD IN LIKE 4 DAYS and then she started jutting her pelvis in my face as to give me period juju. And I am probably going to get my period and want to die. I like it way better when I forget I am going to get it unless I think I have to abort someone's baby like I am the DSL cable in the internet super highway of life.