Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to Tall Todd. If you are too stupid to realize which of those giant douche bags is Todd, well the taller one. You're probably wondering if I have fucked him or something and you couldn't be further from the truth. Todd and I go way back, WAY BACK TO WHEN HE LEFT HIS STUPID CAMERA IN A CAB AND I FOUND IT. That day was sort of a miracle cause I just showed up in Boston but had left my camera in Los Angeles. WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO? Anyways, I got super wasted at the Lucky Strike around Fenway and was like EVERYONE HERE IS A DOUCHEBAG, BRIAN, I NEED A CAMERA TO GET PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF SUCH DOUCHEBAGGERY! Then I ordered a shot of jager, tequila and whiskey. Before I threw them back like I was Jerry Lee Lewis I said prayer that probably went something like "Inaudible" but I remember asking God for a camera. Later, I sat in a cab and proceeded to have an incredible blackout and presto, the camera miracle happened. So I ended up with this camera and all these photos and I was like WHOA, THIS GUY IS A DOUCHE. He is that guy that walks up to a girl in a bar and is like LET ME TAKE A PHOTO WITH YOU! Uh, sorry idiot, but I could charge you for that since you have a head like a watermelon and stupid lazy Italian eyes. I also ended up with what I can only assume are the family photos from his stupid sister's wedding. What a schmuck. Once Brian and I went through the photos Brian was like OH MAN, TALL TODD IS SUCH A LOSER. THIS IS HILARIOUS. And then the name Tall Todd was born. Hilariously, the lore of Todd has spread as my photos are usually random screen savers and people are always like OH, WHO IS THAT DOUCHE? And I get to be like OH, THAT GIGANTIC FUCKER! HE IS TALL TODD AND HE LOST HIS CAMERA TO ME BECAUSE I PRAYED TO GOD. I am not even kidding, asketh and yee shall receive.
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to Tall Todd. If you are too stupid to realize which of those giant douche bags is Todd, well the taller one. You're probably wondering if I have fucked him or something and you couldn't be further from the truth. Todd and I go way back, WAY BACK TO WHEN HE LEFT HIS STUPID CAMERA IN A CAB AND I FOUND IT. That day was sort of a miracle cause I just showed up in Boston but had left my camera in Los Angeles. WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO? Anyways, I got super wasted at the Lucky Strike around Fenway and was like EVERYONE HERE IS A DOUCHEBAG, BRIAN, I NEED A CAMERA TO GET PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF SUCH DOUCHEBAGGERY! Then I ordered a shot of jager, tequila and whiskey. Before I threw them back like I was Jerry Lee Lewis I said prayer that probably went something like "Inaudible" but I remember asking God for a camera. Later, I sat in a cab and proceeded to have an incredible blackout and presto, the camera miracle happened. So I ended up with this camera and all these photos and I was like WHOA, THIS GUY IS A DOUCHE. He is that guy that walks up to a girl in a bar and is like LET ME TAKE A PHOTO WITH YOU! Uh, sorry idiot, but I could charge you for that since you have a head like a watermelon and stupid lazy Italian eyes. I also ended up with what I can only assume are the family photos from his stupid sister's wedding. What a schmuck. Once Brian and I went through the photos Brian was like OH MAN, TALL TODD IS SUCH A LOSER. THIS IS HILARIOUS. And then the name Tall Todd was born. Hilariously, the lore of Todd has spread as my photos are usually random screen savers and people are always like OH, WHO IS THAT DOUCHE? And I get to be like OH, THAT GIGANTIC FUCKER! HE IS TALL TODD AND HE LOST HIS CAMERA TO ME BECAUSE I PRAYED TO GOD. I am not even kidding, asketh and yee shall receive. 
3 comments:
i think the legend of Tall Todd is something i'll pass down to my kids. So thank you.
Or as Todd would probably say, "Thank yous"
i still have that camera i found in tahoe. too bad it isn't digital but i guess i should be inspired to get the film developed now.
total douche!
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