The only thing I hate worse than having a job is looking for a job. I guess quitting your life and moving across the country means you'll be getting a new job unless your last name is Hilton and you have no tits. Then you can do that bi-weekly while trying to avoid flashing off your fucking cooter to the entire world. Thank God for the paparazzi--they level the playing field and at this point I know that my vagina is in no way worse looking than most of the starletts in Hollywood. This might also be because I have yet to contract herpes, but we have the future to look forward to, right?

God, I guess I will go running at 12:47am and then think a lot while trying to minimize my obesity impulses and come back and have something brilliant to say. Maybe I will just keep typing, sometimes when I am running I get bored and pretend someone has jumped out of the shadows and is going to chase after me. Ok, I lied I really did go running and now we can play the time lapse game where I continue my previous thought, but expand on it with the super highlights vomited from my brain while jogging in the dark.

I always like how in movies where everyone is doing an incredible amount of coke how no one in their right mind takes the time to have the fucking cokeheads do that annoying thing with their mouth where they grind their teeth and act like their brain is about to emerge from their ears and nostrils. Why can't everyone just be like me and have the ability to party like a monster and have amazing blackouts where everything you do is basically more awesome than the last thing until you fucking wake up naked on a bathroom floor cause the only thing better than puking is puking naked. My greatest goal is to become a "real adult" holy shit, I'm on my way.