Welcome to half of my face as I try to multitask while driving and thinking about life in general.  Please pay special attention to my collar bone area as I have been running and starving myself to make that appear.  Some people might say that I am losing my mind, but I really fucking doubt that.  I am just severely and acutely self aware, so take your opinions and fuck off. 

Good god, some idiot that used to read the old blog IM'd me earlier today and was trying to be clever saying he reads my blog on the daily and loves how I always talk about being WASTED.  Then I had to be like HEY STUPID, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CHECKED MY BLOG BECAUSE THAT BLOG IS DEAD.  Eventually, I logic indicated that I was dealing with a moron that was apparently bored during the holiday season.  I am not for sure the point of this rant other than consider yourself really fucking lucky cause I am so glad to be rid of the majority of my readers that starting this new blog was like getting the cancer free zone flag from a doctor or something.

Earlier, I finally watched P.T. Anderson's super epic film, There Will Be Blood, and it was spectacular in so many ways that you should probably just check out my review on Critics Rant later to get the actual scope of the film.  I would like to address one minor incident in the film, that on a personal level, made the film extremely poignant for me PERSONALLY.  There is a point where Daniel Day Lewis is speaking with the man he believes to be his brother and he says that he has a competition in himself that he cannot shake and that it is not just about winning but watching others lose.  I understood this in a way that I cannot even begin to explain, but it made me really reflect on the fact that the only men I ever want are the ones already with women.  Obtaining them is more than just having them for yourself, but taking them from someone else and fucking up their sense of happiness and stability.  In that way, everyone loses but you.  I guess even you lose in the end if you're playing that game, but winning is one sided and all point-of-view.  If I feel like I am winning then I am winning and if I see you suffering I am winning even more.  Someday I am going to write all this into a book that no one is ever going to buy and I will still feel like a winner because it took a lot of destruction to get to that point.