Good god, I feel like a scumbag for never posting here, but when you are writing five to seven-thousand words a day about crappy television you never wanted to watch in the first place, well, let's just say that a burnout could be in the mix at any moment.  Whatever.  So now I am running about five miles in an hour.  I guess that is pretty alright, I'd like to make it to 10 miles in about twoish hours by next month.  Don't get me wrong, I have no plans to rape the LA Marathon by running the entire thing until my face explodes, but I will probably kick its ass in my own way.  Right.  Being not drunk most of the time is sort of amazing.  When I wake up in strange places it's because I went somewhere strange and decided to take a nap.  I am sure everyone reading this is riveted.

That picture was taken in my front yard while the sunrose.  Again, I am sure you are this much more excited to have a front-row seat at my very mundane life.  Oh, I bet I could never have a mundane life if I even tried.  I remember once I was at the cleaners with my mother when some lady was basically being rude as hell to whomever was working behind the counter.  Eventually she turned to leave and my mom was like LADY, YOU ARE A CUNTFACE.  Or something equally as bitchy.  Clearly, this woman was not going to take such an audacious statement lying down so she started pointing at my mother and the two started a screaming match.  My mother told the lady to take her finger out of her face before she snapped it off, a simple request.  When the lady didn't my mother spat right in her big ugly face.  The only other time I have seen a human being spat on in such a way was by my big, fat friend while wasted at a bar after someone said something negative about her corpulence.  Needless to say, calling a fat girl fat is never the correct option.   I think my point here was to highlight the fact that my people never take the smart, sane person's choice, but rather we indulge our narcissistic and histrionic personality traits by picking the option that is going to get us sent to jail.

Ugh, it is raining and I have to wake up in a couple of hours and go to the doctor.  Creepily, I hate doing anything in the rain because I think of it as making bold choices during a time of impending doom.  If you know about my current track-record regarding car accidents this will all make sense.  If you do not know about that you're an idiot that never read my old blog.  I will probably have to go because it is my annual pain killer prescription appointment and I need to get all hazy and fucked up for the next few weeks.  God, this cripple is falling apart rapidly from all this stupid running.  
This photo does not have anything to do with the front of my house, but rather going 65 in a 45mph zone while flying down Pacific Coast Highway like I am Clay in Bret Easton Ellis's novel, LESS THAN ZERO. Who am I kidding, if you spend more than 15 minutes with me in Los Angeles, you realize that I really am the female version of Clay. It is so wicked awesome. Stay tuned for my cover of NoFi Magazine's latest issue.  By my cover, I mean, I am on the cover.  It's our Gimme, Gimme More issue, it highlights gluttony and how everyone around has participated in gluttony in one form or another--can we say young hollywood anyone?  If you're interested in writing a piece please contact me ASAP as I am trying to get things wrapped up in the next couple of days.  God, being on top of things and crap is totally fucking disgusting.  I really am going to have to take a ton of pills and wake up in a foreign city just to keep the ebb and flow of life.