Now that I have written that I am super fucking jealous that I am a shitty writer and it's really set a fire under my ass.  What the fuck is wrong with me?  You can't even begin to answer that so don't even try.  I'm soppy with sweat and too lazy to shower.  I stink.  Hello, I stink and stay up all night avoiding the writing I need to do because I hate having to do anything.  What's worse is that I don't want to do anything unless someone is holding gun to my head and fingering the trigger.  DOES ANYONE IN THIS HOUSE HAVE THE HEART TO PRESS A GUN TO MY TEMPLE AND CAUSE THE KISS OF INSPIRATION?  Ugh.  I didn't think so.  
Here is the picture of the new kitten we ended up with.  I am not even sure how we ended up with it, but we did.  Here's the problem.  It was entirely too young to be separated from it's mother and the other cats here are fucking wild monsters like the rest of us--so we've had to fucking sequester it.  Seriously, you will know exactly what is up with your life when you realize that you've got to play mediator with your fucking animals.  I didn't even bring this cat home, but it got fucking confused and thinks this is some subsequent chapter in ARE YOU MY MOTHER and follows me around everywhere.

It's not really a surprise to my family that I am getting paid to write because finally I am.  Dur.  Anyways, my father brought it up over thanksgiving and was like HEY, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ONE OF THOSE BLOG THINGIES?  And I had to be like ARE YOU CRAZY, I HAD ONE THAT I HAD TO KILL BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU MUST KILL AND EAT YOUR OWN YOUNG FOR YOUR OWN SURVIVAL.  Then there was an awkward pause and my dad was like COULDN'T YOU HAVE MADE MONEY ON THAT THING?  And I guess he is right, I could have made money on it, but too bad I am a fucking shit head that was diametrically opposed to success.  FINALLY, I WAS LIKE.  IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A TON OF MONEY WE SHOULD INSTALL CAMERAS ALL OVER A HOUSE AND MAKE GIA AND I LIVE IN THERE.  And for one second my dad really gave thought to it until my mother was like YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAVE PEOPLE WATCHING YOU TAKE SHITS ON CAMERA.  And guess what, she's right.