Yo yo yo! What’s up? Hello! I like to eat pie and get spanked with a spatula. My name is cigarette taker. And that’s they way it is. If you fuck with me I’ll fuck with you. Yes ma'am. I’m done with this document because it sucks.
FUCK YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
That my friends is a special message I found on my laptop from Erin. I was so busy being drunk or hungover that I didn't even find that until I left her house. Erin, do you remember writing that--did I write this? I fucking don't even know--the spatula thing sounds like something I would write, but I have no fucking memory of writing it. HELP ME DECIPHER MY ALCOHOL INDUCED DEMENTIA. I guess that is all I have to say about that cause I have been so fucking frazzled all week that I haven't even had the time or desire to blog--CAN YOU BLAME ME? Uh, I have no idea what that means, whatever. I guess this is where I tell you what I am up to these days and the bullshit ideas I am toying with. I bet you will all be elated beyond human comprehension.
I guess it is final. The news is in, I've decided to run the stupid LA Marathon. I like how in my own head I am like THIS CANNOT BE HARDER THAN BREAKING MY NECK OR LIVING THROUGH A TWO DAY HANGOVER. Really, it cannot. I am not even sure if that is big news or what. What is big news is that I am actually going to try and see if I can't start writing a short story a day for the rest of the month starting tomorrow. This means I am going to have to actually force myself into being productive and I have no idea how that is going to work out around the fact that the rest of my life is amazingly important and I have other shit to do & absolutely none of that shit will be getting drunk.
I guess if anything that will change my blog minimally cause I might actually end up posting the hack versions of the short stories or at least excerpts of them. Maybe. And maybe I will just post about the fact that I can spend 24-hours sitting on the couch, watching Law & Order re-runs instead of doing anything of importance.
4 comments:
Personally I'm not into running but, you know, like good for you. It will give you a whole new level for displaying awesome when people start after ya with the what kinda sloppy slut-bag trainwreck are you? you can be like, eat a dick you flea-bitten queerbait I just ran a marathon last tuesday.
Personally, I planned to say that I was the sort of wreckless whore that DRINKS, FUCKS, SMOKES & FINISHES MARATHONS.
I'm not healthy or anything. I just like a good challenge. Somethings will never change.
i might have written that... i do like my pie and getting spanked with a spatula...
stacy wrote that. i know i already told you this but i need to tell the internet. just to clear up any misconceptions about me liking to eat pie.
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