God, now that I am the world's most healthy human being please bow down to my total greatness. Here is something that you should be jealous of--that dude from John From Cincinnati is in love with me--and if he isn't in love with me he is in love with my tits and that is enough for me. God. Anyways, remember how I said I was going to spend my entire life writing, well I guess I was a liar. I figure with a few fucking uppers I can catch up on my life, unzip my head and write until midday tomorrow. Too bad I hate fucking sitting still. Who said writing had to be done in one place. How long will it be until stupid Mac decides to create a device that hooks up to your brain and shovels the shit out of there into fucking print? God, that would be helpful. Regardless, I have two short stories in the old bean & a ton of tv & movie reviews to pen. I also have two different lists I would like to get done today, but let's face it, OK, I AM FACING IT AND I LIKE MONEY SO I GUESS I AM GOING TO WRITE THEM BOTH BEFORE I ALLOW MYSELF TO SLEEP AGAIN. AWESOME.

Anyways, I love this picture because I took it in San Francisco last year while on the drinking binge of the decade '06. Remember when I tested the powers of my liver to check and see if I could drink more than ten men and then I could. Yea, that was the year. Awesomely, I showed up in San Francisco on a whim because I am a nutty drunk that gets into cars at 2am after leaving a bar & agreeing to go on a road trip to God-knows-where. The first night there we had to subdue a man so drunk that he had pissed himself and allowed him to sleep outside in the fucking cold. Idiot. The second night we got so drunk we ended up wherever-the-fuck, taking a taxi because drunk driving in a city you do not know is almost as dangerous as drunk driving. On the way, the gentleman in the picture/city worker/Mexican man was making lude comments and gestures at us and then we all took out our cameras. Either he was afraid of flash photography or very famous in Mexico. Either way, he did not want to be photographed.

Awesome.