I wish I knew when I took this picture. I guess drunken blackouts are good for more than just forgetting anything you have done. THEY FILL YOUR LIFE WITH SURPRISES YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT TILL LATER.

So my laptop has seen better days. By the time you read this I will have hopefully woken up from my stupid pill induced haze and dropped it off. I totally dropped off inside my head cause I started writing this Monday morning and now it is Tuesday morning and I am wide awake and crazy as fucking hell. KILL ME. KILL ME NOW.

God, I guess I will finish writing my stupid review and then I will blog about how I never have time to blog anymore. The worst part is that this stupid thing is basically a labor of love so I write here cause I like to and cause I can talk about things like how I took a ton of vicodin once and got scared, while high, that I would get constipated and took so many fiber supplements that I nearly shat myself. This is my blog and I can rant if I want to--even if the subject matter is gross, especially when it is. Fuck, I should be running right now, but I bet I am just going to lay down and pray I die since it is already 8am.

Oh, I guess I should mention that every guy I have had a crush on in the past 50 years has been showing up and being like HEY I AM BACK, WHAT'RE YOU UP TO? Too bad I have not had any such run-ins with that evil attorney I wanted to sell oranges on the side of the freeway with. I am not even sure if that sounds romantic to the universe but I guess it does to me. But yea, these dudes are still in love with me. Good thing too.

Christ, I found this picture of myself after I had been drinking nonstop for a year and I was like a trillion pounds and I basically look Kathy Najimy. I am giving serious thought to posting that picture cause it turns out I am not embarrassed about the fact that I have battled my weight my entire life and being a fatso is something I've been. Also, the picture is hilarious and I had to be drunk while it was taken cause I am trying to ride a bicycle that is chained to a pole and I look like I am going to ride it rodeo style.

Now that my days are night and my night are days my entire life is fucked up. I have to keep it this way because I review these stupid shows immediately after watching them. The problem is, sometimes I don't even bother to watch them till 2 or 3am and I have to have them turned in by dawn, so I stay up and keep writing after I finally force myself to fucking write. I am sure you have stopped reading by this point due to the sheer boringness. I do not blame you for your lack of interest.

I am still in love with that Physics teacher. Last week he got high and told me his feet stunk and I considered it endearing. I think he's even still with his girlfriend whom he commented to someone I know when asked about her "OH I BARELY EVEN SEE HER." Too bad I barely even comprehended she ever existed. Truly the best part is that he once commented that he could never have a one-night-stand with me because I am the sort of girl he'd marry. I think he bases that on the fact that I get really drunk and fall down in front of him but am still able to talk about the theories behind quantum mechanics.