Seven minutes in heaven is the best approach to dating that i know of. After the initial seven minutes are up I am always sort of bored and worried I might have to deal with someone. This sounds like a lame after school special where the girl was violently raped by her Senior boyfriend, when she is a Freshman and she becomes the school slut. Too bad it isn't even that cool. Once, I watched this Lifetime movie called "She's Too Young" about the school slut that contracts syphilis and causes the entire student body to have to be tested because she basically banged everyone with a penis. I watched this with Erin and my little brothers and sisters. That afternoon we taught them important lessons about being slutty--like don't let your parents know you're a slut & don't have sex with every guy in the same group of friends. Idiot. Anyways, if I contract syphilis I refuse to get it treated because I want to go fucking insane like Al Capone and if I'm lucky I will get to be featured on Cops for some of the whacked out shit I'll attempt to get away with.

Speaking of STDs, I think being a serial AIDS rapist is probably the perfect profession for me. What else is there to do with my time but fuck and plot against men? If you said drinking & reading you're probably right, but I can continue to get wasted and reading if I have AIDS and am systematically destroying mens lives with my succubus vagina.

I am getting sick of going out. Today, after I got off work, I mixed whiskey with crystal lite lemonade and put it in a 7-11 Double Big Gulp cup, laid in bed and listened to Hank Williams until I was delirious. While this was going on I daydreamed about the idea of freedom. No hopes. No loved ones. No desires. No problems. Although being a robot is suppose to be a sense of enslavement, if you do not really feel that sense of oppression are you really oppressed or actually free? It took all afternoon to deal with this intellectual quandary.

I found the picture of the pregnancy test in front of one of the nicest houses I have ever been invited to party in. I guess it just goes to show you ridiculously rich people are just as trashy as I am, and perhaps more so, as I always throw my test in the trash at the local CVS right after I complete taking it. On an unrelated note, it was also to one of the most boring parties I have ever been to. Turns out not everyone wants to get wasted beyond belief and swing on the rafters. Although, in my own defense, it was Charlie Chaplin's old house and I can tell some fucked up shit went on within the walls of this place and it misses all the chaos. That house spoke to me and it said to burn it down because it is so boring now it just needs to be put out of its misery.