Here is my life as I am living it written within 7 minutes and then cut off even if I do not complete my thoughts. Anyways, what do you do when you meet a man that is infinitely crazier than you, withholds sex, can outdrink you and takes more pills than Billy Crudup in Jesus' Son? You date him because he also has a police record & a DUI. He is a shiney piece of foil that you are desperately turning over so that it begins to lack luster and usefulness. Too bad that object does not mind being objectified and has no problem with the fact that you are generally emotionless unless you have been drinking Jameson for hours and get sexy-pouty and demand sex until you are like OH MY GOD, I AM OUT OF HERE, MY HEAD IS ON FIRE AND I AM GOING TO SHAVE THE CAT YOU DO NOT HAVE. And then he has to give in and fuck you because he is only a man and it is only natural to fuck after going through a psycho sexual drama, ok?

In my head this sounded way better, trust me on that. Cause here I am being like--WHOA, SOMEONE IS TRYING TO SETTLE ME DOWN, AND I AM TOTALLY AGAINST IT, EVEN THOUGH I AM BASICALLY LIVING AT HIS HOUSE AND BEING ACCUSED OF BEING A NYMPHO BECAUSE I DO THINGS LIKE FUCK IN MENS BATHROOMS AND RIP HIS PANTS OFF IN PUBLIC PARKING LOTS BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT I AM SEETHINGLY ATTRACTED TO HIM. I KNOW, RIGHT? Anyways, I am not sure how to climb out of this hole, but rest assured that I plan to fuck it up. Fuck it up in a big fucking way. Amen