I am giving myself seven minutes to do this because I have to go running and get my life together cause I never even slept last night. Oh my god, I am a fucking wreck. I had a pill party and blacked out and woke up at a hotel and then tried to get it together and drive home but I could not keep my eyes open so I would pull over and sleep alongside the beach and be like OH MY GOD, I AM ASLEEP ASIDE THE FUCKING BEACH IN MY CAR LIKE A FUCKING HOMELESS PERSON. Then I would create the gumption within to begin driving again, but that was like driving inside an asteroid moving slower than a grain of sand falling from an hour glass and I would immediately go to sleep again. I am in party overload cause some man thought he could tell me what to do.

Let me break down this scenario. I meet person A. Person A says he has broken up with person S and is looking for some good times. I am those good times. In the meantime, person K, whom I used to go out with, also had a thing for person S. Person S. was blowing him off in a big way. A big, big way. Anyways, to make a long story short, I told K. that it would be hilarious if I would bang A. because I would never bang K. and in the end it would fucking implode everything between A., S., & K, but I would continue to remain unscathed because I do not care about anything ever.

Then I started banging A. because I was bored and my psychic said I should because a real man wouldn't even be coming into my life until September and because the sex might be fantastic. I also did it cause that morning I banged B., my ex, and left and told him we shouldn't see one another anymore. God, are you following this, I am a whore. Anyways, I baned B. at 4am & A. at 11pm that same day, and now I am in an elite whore club. In the meantime, A. starts acting like I am going to be his girlfriend or something crazy. So I decide to play with it because it always ends up funnier that way & in the middle of banging in his car he is like WE CAN ONLY HAVE SEX WITH ONE ANOTHER--Sorry baby, they aren't called sweet nothings for, well, nothing. What he doesn't know is that I was trying desperately to bang this model the night before, but he had done so much coke that his dick could not get hard and it ended up being a show where I was like YOU HAD COKE AND YOU WOULDN'T GIVE ME ANY--AND NOW YOU CANNOT FUCK ME--AND YOU HAD COKE AND WOULDN'T GIVE ME ANY!!! I am a classy broad. Then the next day A. thought it would be a great idea to tell S. he is banging someone new & K. had already told her that I said I planned to bang A. so now London Bridge is all falling down and children are burning and dying so A. & I decide to meet and talk about it, but end up fucking in the car instead. Then he agrees it is not fair to S. to openly fuck me or label our non-relationship, which I am fine with, but I am not fine with being a secret. What he doesn't get is that I wanted to do this and I wanted to upset everyone and now I have and there is nothing left to do but let the time bomb go off and see the real shit storm when I hand deliver the package to S. Boom!